mom catches you masterbating... look straight at her and finish LIKE A MAN!!! (insanitywolf^^)

mom catches you masterbating... look straight at her and finish LIKE A MAN!!! (insanitywolf^^)

ok my turn... soooooo i was in my room fapping (when my parents were gone) i almost shit my pants when my neighbor comes running up my stairs with his pants down asking for a dildo... i looked at him and he said ″or can i use you” that did it i ran up to him acting like i was going to kiss him and shove hin down the stairs and said ...no and went back to fapping. he never came back (thank god) again

WELL!
So pissed, I spent a good 10 minutes writing my share of stories on the internet and to be sure that if anything happens I'll still have it, I ccopy the stuff. As I enter the Captcha the fricken browser closes the page for "My own protection" which it's been doing all day. I was like, Whatever, I copied the data. I go to Ctrl+V and notice I couldn't paste it. All was lost. Well Played internet, well plaaaayed. >:|

Fuck you internet, I raged and lost.

>>16124

Notepad. Notepad!

D:

>>16124
I'm gonna try this ONE MORE TIME.
Okay, so the earliest one I'm gonna mention was this. When I was around 11 or 12 I started getting curious. I had Limewire and everyone knows it's notoriouness for CP. I was too young to care o think of what would happen if I was caught. But anyways, me and mom were on my room playing a theme-park game we loved to use as a medium of spendin time together. She said she had to use the computer rreal quick, for God knows what reason she goes through the recycling bin I forgot to empty. I turn my head to see her staring at a naked boy with legs spread wide open. I saw her close it and whipped my head back to the game. She never said anything bout it.

Another time was, for some reason both houses I live at (separated parents) have cracks down the bathroom doors you can peer into. I was watching my friend get undressed in a room that connects to the bathroom (there were two ways to get in there). As I start fapping away I get close to finishing to hear the door open in the conjoined room. I quickly stand up and look to see it was my mom. She asked what I was doing and said I was getting candy, which was 3 feet away from where I was. She said Oh and left.

The time that most recently happened was the funniest, because I don't let things get awkward or embarassing. You know that overwhelming sensation you get when you keep going during orgasm? Well because I'm very tidy and neat I used condoms to jack off into, they came from a friend who brought around 50 of them as a gag because of the lack of sex in my life. I throw them in my trash and think nothing of it because I take the trash out before going to my dad's for the rest of the week. I do so and when I come back I hear my roomie say something. Guess what? The mother fucking bag ripped open. Oh yeah. Used condoms all over the street. My cheeks flushed for a second and I just start laughing my ass off. With her was her very open gay best friend. He wondered why I did it. Guess what he did that night? Jerk right off into a condom. He concluded it was easy clean-up. Roomie's response? Oh. My. Gawd. Now watch some of you actually go get a condom and jerk off into it, just watch someone do it.

>>16165

Fucking SHIT man, all I had for porn when I was 12 was goddamn PLAYBOYS, and I'm GAY for fuck's sake! They didn't even have internet, much less Limewire, when I was growing up.

Of course, I was screwing with real boys at the time, but FUCK it still would have been nice to have some decent porn, back then!

Bump out of interest and craving for lulz

I'm not 100% on this but I'm pretty sure I was caught after the act by my brother this one time (and thankfully the only time if it was). Which for me could have turned out to be annoying as you will find out.

So I was in the bathrooom that my younger brother (by about 2 years) and I shared  (I was at least 17 at the time). The bathroom is basically right in between both of our bedrooms and all 3 rooms are connected to each other by a room with 2 sinks and it's on the second floor. Anyways I was using my laptop this time but the fan can be noticeably loud so I used it after I took a shower, but I left the water going to drown the fan noise out. I made a few mistakes though. I forgot to get a towel to dry myself up with after the shower so I exited the bathroom and I didn't bother waiting for my laptop to go into hibernation and I also decided to turn the light off. My brother had his door open to the sink room, and he noticed my laptop was in there cause of the fan and the blue glow from the "windows is preparing to hibernate" screen when he took a peek and he asked me why it was in there with a look a disgust. I can't remember much of the coversation but I remembered trying to convince him that I wasn't masterbating and he eventually said that he believed me after the paranoid weirdo tried looking for jizz spots with a black light, which I knew didn't work by it's self.
To this day I still think he caught me but is in denial about it. Probably because he has this odd fear of touching anything that was jizzed on within a ridiculous time frame and I have a friend that my brother knows and he used to ask him constantly if he jizzed on something, even if it was something odd and I didn't need him doing it to me too. Fortunately I've never been caught in the middle of masturbating probably because my dad only comes upstairs about 1 time a month and knocks if he's coming in and my sister always knocks and let's me open the door instead of barging in like my brother does without the intent to warn (but at least he warns me unintentionally with his loud stair climbing noise).

>>10210
This makes me want to make a "to the cloud" video spoof where the same thing happens.

This thread has become one of the most laugh inducing, funniest and overall memorable things on pawsru. PLEASE lets keep it going :3

Thank you to all who have shared their embarrassing and funny moments with the rest of us =3

Three stories:

First:
Since I've started living with my roommate I've realized I've never really been accustomed to having someone around most of the time. I used to leave stuff up on my computer screen while I wasn't around. So I tell him things like, "let's look that up on Google", and I open my laptop lid and there's all the images I haven't closed recently.
Worse than that, I was doing a presentation to five clients for one of those pyramid schemes. Yeah, I fell for a pyramid scheme, shut up. I finished the presentation, and I was looking for a file I needed to show them (a chart of some sort) and decided to just flip through all of them in preview. I'm stopping for a second or so on each one before continuing. And suddenly BAM there is a picture of ME. Completely naked, my cum all over my chest, tied down to a bed or something. I yanked the HDMI cable and Alt-F4 the window. I spin around and look at everyone, but they are all talking and acting normal, too normal considering I just blacked out the screen. I can only assume that they saw that.
I never went far in that business.

Second:
At a job interview I wanted to show off my new phone. An iPhone 3GS. She complained about trying to find the time on her flip phone. I hit the home button to light up my screen and turned it so we could both see the screen while I said, "mine shows up right at the top." My wallpaper was one of Taurin Fox's sketches, two furs kissing naked with exposed sheathes. Pretty sure she didn't see it though. I still got the job. Also, this lady was also at the presentation in the first story.

Third:
Driving down the Highway after watching the gay pride parade, I asked my boyfriend to give me head. I was careful to watch my speed and lane position and as far as I knew I was driving perfectly. But I don't really get the same sensation out of a blowjob unless I can recline, which I couldn't do. So while he can normally get me off in a short time (he's very talented), I ended up driving for like 30 minutes with him bobbing in my lap.
I see this blacked out SUV on the side of the highway and think it's a little odd, it's got no logos, it has spartan wheels on it; probably a cop. I watch him in my rear view as he merges with traffic and after a long in the fast lane comes up behind me. Now, I want to say "stop, there's a cop, we're going to get in trouble," but at this point I'm close, so fuck it, I just hope there's only a driver and nobody on the passenger side.
It pulls up right next to me, this painfully slow pace, and slowly gets out ahead of me. I'm relieved that they didn't see me.
Then the lights came on. This IS a cop. They DID see me. I AM fucked.
"Baby, stop."
"Why, what's wrong?"
"We're being pulled over"
"What?"
"Yeah."
The cop ends up at my window. A buff, gruff woman in plain clothes.
"There are some things I let slide when I'm off duty but that... License and registration."
Luckily I only spent 10 minutes with a red face and afraid that I was going to get a ticket I couldn't afford before she decided that my clean driving record and ashamed look said I had learned my lesson. She let me go with a warning.
In retrospect, TOTALLY worth it, even though I didn't get to cum and it was a 24 hour boner kill.

>>16465
>all sorts of homosex

SON, I AM DISAPPOINT

>>16465

This is pure gold, Im sorry for your misfortune but these are the stories that both scare us straight and yet make us laugh every time X3

>>9696
That's not to bad. I had this as my background.
Just kinda went on about someone messing with my computer. *reaches over as changes background real quick to something else.
Moving on...

For me, I have rarely been caught Masturbating.

Granted, when I was young, about 1st year high school or so, hormones were going crazy (as they tend to do at that age). Granted, at times at school, I would try looking up porn on the school computers with mixed success. That ended at the 2nd year there as they got smart and added blockers.

But, needless to say, I had stolen a bunch of magazines from a newsstand the rare times I was allowed to walk home from school. I had been grounded for some reason I can't remember, which meant no video games. I had hid the magazines really far back in this cupboard thing above my closet, a place they NEVER did seem to go into. My luck went bad when she was all "You must be bored, so lets play cards." Sure enough, she goes up there and my heart is beating like crazy. Needless to say, she found the large stack of mags, and me, my dad and her had the talk of "It is normal to look at that stuff, but you won't while you live here....blablabla." To add to that embarassment, my dad took me to the newsstand and returned all the mags to the place, telling them what happened and whatnot. I was careful when I used them as I didn't want to mess them up, so they were clean.

I got lucky at that part. Gotta love when one is young and stupid eh?

One time which isn't so much getting caught during the act, but rather, evidence of having masturbated. This was probably only a year or so ago (Can't remember.) I am 26 right now and still live with parents due to unable to find a place I can afford on my own.

For me, for reasons I can't remember. I think I had thrown away a condom wrapper in the restroom. Chances are high that I had put the wrapper inside that "Pocket" that seems to exist in the "Toighty whities, due to how you can pull those flaps of material away to let your cock out. Needless to say, the next morning she asks me what I was doing with this. Her mind seems to go full blown worst case scenario.

For me, I outright told her. I use condoms for masturbating. I use those as it is better then getting my socks or older pairs of underwear dirtier. She was all "Ok, ok. Sorry I asked, stop talking." XD

One time was I think back in or around 2007/2008. I was needing to get rid of some "tension" before I headed off to work, as I felt I would be unable to concentrate if I didn't "Cut loose". Needless to say, I was using a towel that I had used from showering (Which I might add, towels feel really great dry or damp for masturbating). I had some porn on my PSP that I was using as visual aides. Needless to say, my parents are the type of "IF your door is locked, you must be doing something you shouldn't be."

UNfortunatly, the house we live in is really small. Basically, there is a short strip that is the hallway. My room is on the east part of the intersection, the kitchen is the west, the living room is on the south, and my parents room and bathroom are in the northern part.

Needless to say, I hear the living room door oen and then the door tomy room trying to be opened. I quickly cover myself with my sheets or the towel. My dad sees me and I think he was a bit stunned for a couple secs (thank goodness the PSP is so small that you can just plop the screen face down.) He told me that it was getting close to where we should get to leaving. I told him to give me a couple more minutes.

Needless to say, the ride to work was that akward silence. Then I told him sorry he had to see that. He was like, just be more careful in the future and lock the door when you do that.

Then, one time, I did lock the door quite a bit later, and late at night, I was masturbating, my mom tries opening the door, no knocking at all and finds she can't open it so gets all upset yelling at me to open the door. Me, dressed in my tighty whities which are my pjs, she saw that I have my laptop on the bed and asks me what I was doing and that I better not be doing anything bad. I told her that I was just masturbating.

For her, she auto assumes the worst something like "You better not be masturbating for others online" or some oddness like that." @_@

Granted, there was a time not too long ago where I would masturbate for others on webcam. The comments of others made me feel good and whatnot.

But, that can be discussed at a seperate time or something.

Also, the name here I have put I have used on FA if anyone wishes to talk more or something. Just let me know you are from here so I don';t go all "Who the heck are you?" ^_^

>>16629
nice stories, but you use the phrase "Needless to say" WAY too often

>>16630
I didn't realize I was saying that a lot. My bad. ^_^; it is 333am here, so me + thinking clearly = fat chance.... or something. Maybe I should try to get some sleep.

Oh my god xD! I have loved reading these stories and have been enjoying the facepalms all around. I have only been caught once, but it was enough for me to become the most cautious masturbater after that.

So, it was in 6th grade. I just discovered porn and needless to say I jerked it near every chance I got. On top of this I got really turned on in public places like parks. So, one time me and my masturbating partner in crime walked to this park with a playboy, and decided to whack off under neath this playground slide. He went first and finished quickly. Then it was my turn... I was circle jerking frantically like the typical pre-adolescent does when suddenly a kid I knew in 5th walked by and saw me. (luckily he didn't go to my middle school) Him and his friend pointed at me laughing and ran away. With tears of embarrassment running down my face me and my friend ran back to his house and played playstation for the rest of the day. I blocked it out from my memory for a long time and remembered a couple years ago. It's a funny experience looking back, but I think it's had a lasting impression on my psyche; because now I won't do anything naughty in public areas (like drinking or smoking)

>>9522
Best Advice ever! worked perfectly for me! ...although some I've already used.

>>9978
Damn dude that fucking sucks! What the hell were you thinking masturbating while in boot camp!? I'm pretty sure the rest of your time there was a living hell of embarrassment. What branch did you get boot camp for anyway? Did this happen in San Diego?

Ok, so one time a couple years ago (17) I had been browsing through furry websites. Well, I had to go to the bathroom and I went. When I came back, I saw my dad... viewing my desktop background, my fap folder, and the furry website. Thats when he continued to tell me that he knows that ive been fapping, and he found out I did when i was 15. That memory still haunts me...

Pic realated, it was my background

i remember a few years back i was 16 and my buddy set me up with a girl he knew. I use to have a fetish to wear there panties why fucking them looking back lol. Well after we got done fucking i had forgot to give them back, on the way home i was trying to figure out what to do with them, i couldnt leave them in the car my parents gave me they'd go through it( i'm 20 now and still keep my sex life hidden im straight though). so anyways i thought well ill take my dresser drawer out and hide them there along with 2 porn dvds. wouldn't you know it by some off chance my mom found them, i only knew cause everything was moved and panties were gone, but nobody said anything to me

try walking in on ur father watchin porno on computer, the best part was my dad tellin me to stay away from that stuff lol. i went in computer room and just turned around

bump :3

Coolness, a self-inflicted embarrassment thread.

I've been caught several times, each and every time due to forgetting to lock my bedroom door. Usually it's my mom who walks in, I guess because knocking first is some kind of alien / unimaginable concept to her, but other times it's been random friends. One of the worst times involving my female parental unit was when she was bringing in a fresh basket of laundry and opened the door right as I got one of my dildos halfway in. She stared for a moment. I stared back. No words were exchanged, only my shame and her disgust.

Still, as dreadful as that was, I consider getting caught by my friends far worse. I called my friend Scott one time and asked him if he wanted to come over to play video games and listen to the new NOFX album. He said yes, hung up, and started walking. I figured that I had about 10 - 15 minutes to squander before he arrived, so I did what anyone in my position would do, I dropped my pants and started spanking it. 15 minutes later I was still at it, bent over the side of my chair and fingering myself with my free hand. That's when Scott walked in. A microsecond later and he walked right back out. I never saw his face or his expression, I just heard him close my bedroom door and head back downstairs. Wondering if I'd scarred him for life or something, I stopped, jumped into my pants, and followed in pursuit. Long story made short, he told me to close and lock the door next time lol.

I gotta' start off by saying my mom is pretty open about this shit since she's young; she'll gladly play Bad Company 2 with me and my boyfriend or any other game out there, I told her I was gay at 14 and she said she pretty much knew already when I was 12 from looking at my browsing history. The only really awkward time I can remember is when I was sexting my boyfriend at home while I was waiting for a ride to work when I was 17, mom saw a bit of the text which read, and excuse me if I can't get the words right as it was awhile ago, "I can't wait for you to rub your stiff 8 inch cock up against my tight ass"... she just laughed and told me to "Your little friend has quite the imagination." Needles to say I was happy I had 7 hours away from home that night. She still bothers us about that...

>>17665
Shoulda' been "Needless to say", sorry!

>"Your little friend has quite the imagination."

She meant, "I've seen it. It's only 6 inches."

>>17665 why is he trying to bring back a squirrel to life with a trombone?

bump please

>>17688
it is a magical trombone with healing abilities

My first time was when we (My parents, 2 brother, aunt, uncle, and roommate (yea, that's what you could call him)) lived with my aunt. Her room was 2 rooms away from the community comp room (because i didn't have 1) and there was no door to the room.

I was 10 and was fapping vigorously to some porn, as I'd found out what porn was by accidentally stumbling upon some soft-core late-night cable porn. Anyway i was fapping and my aunt was stumbling toward the bathroom (across the hallway from her room to the computer) She walked past and asked me what i was doing so i put up the emergency tab and not having enough time to pull my pants downs, i leaned forward. I know she noticed but since she has multi-personality syndrome and has the tendency to forget stuff i think it's no longer a problem but i still think it's awkward,so i never did it on that computer again. But i got caught 3 times again later, so i didn't learn from that one.

More stories may come to those who wait...

I guess my story is not the MOST emberrasing story.But it's not far away.

When is was like 12, i didn't have much things to fap to,so i took what i could and ended up with jerking of to a tampon instruction.(i know this is fucked up -_-) While i was doing it i started to hear footsteeps...but i diden't worry, cuz i was preety sure the door was closed.

I was wrong...so there i were, on my knees fapping to a tampon instruction, while looking on my mom. And thats one of my most embarrasing moments in my life.

This happened little over a year ago. 19 Y/O, still in the closet but warming up to the idea of being gay/bi and jerking it to some PO-JU.

My parents have literally never walked in on me doing it. No, instead I forgot to click everything away and I walk out to wash my hands in the washroom upstairs. While I'm doing that my dad walks into my room, because the ladder up to the attic is in my room, and he's definitely seen the picture. I'm still not sure if he only took a vague gander at it or not because he teased me about the oversized dicks for a while and joked to my mom I was jerking it to porn of Pokemon characters but I don't think he realized all 3 characters were boys..

Then like a month later, I'm jerking it to some random femboy porn on Gelbooru. I say femboy but it was unmistakeably a male character in a bikini and a visible cock. So pretty much the exact same thing happened again.. only this time he didn't say anything about it. So he either went straight to the ladder and ignored my computer or..

Lastly, I have a bunch little memory stickies that I used for my pirates PSP. I fucked up upgrading the pirate software on it so it bricked. My brother suggested he takes it and the memory sticks to try and fix it. I agree, but thankfully I remember just in time that one of the memory sticks is where I save all my porn on. I decided the best course of action was to say that I needed to delete some "personal stuff" from the stick and he sat there while I did so. It was the most fucking awkward, terrifying moment of my life. It didn't help that windows 7 shows folders with preview images in them, making me worried he'd be able to figure out what it was from those. It also didn't help that I named the folders such creative things as "gay shit" and "Hardblush".

It won't surprise me if I end up coming out and my entire family is really supportive instead of freaking out like I imagine they would in my head..

I got caught by my parents when I was like 15. super embarrassing.

Right now though, I live in a dorm, and if I know my roommate's gone for a while, I'll have a nice fap, but this one time, I forgot to lock the door.

I almost got caught the other day though.

Now, there are some girls who live across the hallway who I'm very good friends with, and neither of us lock our door very often, so we just come in if we want to visit. Kind of dumb, but whatever.

Anyway, they come in, and I'm in my bed jerking it, and I just really quickly throw the sheets over my boner so they don't see it, and close out of the window I was in on my computer, hoping they don't notice my raging boner (I have a rather large cock, so this confounded my problems). They start talking to me, and I'm still too nervous to come up with any excuse to tell them to leave that isn't rude, when one of them just hops on my bed, continuing to talk to me. And she's sitting literally less than a foot away from my boner, and the thought of this for some reason really turned me on, so I got even harder.

They ended up leaving, and not noticing it, but the second they were gone, I ran up, locked the door, fapped for about three seconds, and proceeded to have one of the most intense orgasms I've ever had in my life. I must have cum almost a fourth of a cup, and I literally started yelling because of how intense it was.

BUMP please these stories are great ^_^

I got caught when I was 70.

FUCKIN FAGGOTS

FUCKIN FAGGOTS

I could have gone all day without seeing that shit

bump please

I'm still only a child (15). But just today I woke up and saw cum everywhere around me and wanted to know what had happened. So I checked around to see whether I came or not. But my friend was there and I found out he came in my mouth while I was asleep D: what a weird night

>>18579
Sometimes I'll do that to a friend. I'm fucked up so I might put it in their food too to get revenge. One time I told my cousin I did it and he thought I was joking around, complimented how good my cum tastes. Then bragged about it to his XBox friends while he was eating it. I kept a clear poker face though. My room has a peephole into the shower from my closet and I use that to watch them shower. When they're done I watch them through the huge crack going down my bathroom door... I'm a very curious and disturbed person.

>>18607 you seem like a awesome guy you should add me on like facebook or something?

> yea i jizz in my friends food LOL

> you seem like an awesome guy!

what the fuck?

>>18639
He confessed it didn't he?

bump