I approve of this thread because it's new to this board. Also lol @ comic.

While we used to live under the same roof, my brother caught me. At least three times. And it seemed that all the awkwardness was on my part, because every time I'd get this creepy sensation and I'd look up and he'd be peeking his head in with this stupid grin on his face. Then I'd be horrified, and he'd start making a ton of stupid comments like "oh does it itch?" or "has it been growing?" or "so I don't suppose you use that lotion just for your hands now do you?" until I'd jump up, cram it back in my pants and chase him out of the room.

By far the weirdest would have been when he caught me attempting to autofellate (and succeeding).

I'm thankful that I never walked in on him though. That would have been something that could not be unseen.

...THEN there was the time, much more recently, when he was visiting and was trying to fix a computer. Only that I had completely forgotten that I had hidden certain... things inside the case some years back... until he walked out, tapped me on the shoulder, then smacked me upside the head with my dildo x_x

>>9488
HA! You got smacked with a dildo.
Well... I am growing fond of this site's discussion board, so i suppose that I should tell my story too.

ok SOOOOO...
I was looking at gay porn on the computer, and my MAMMY came in. (when I was 16).
So I minimized it, (idk why i didn't exit the page lol) cuz I had my backup tabs open incase of an occurance alike this, so then she sat down in her office chair and I closed out my main window about to leave (cuz I was nervous about cutting it so close and now I just wanted to be out of there!) So when I closed out my main tab, THERE WAS THE FAGGOT ONE. And she said... "*pause* ... so that's what you've been up to in here." Then I tried to make up all these lies that it wasnt my fault and it was a pop up from a straight porno sight (HA!) but she didn't believe me. And that was the day I told mom I was bi. But she basically already knew, lol! Darn my feminine and fashionable ways. So that's ma story! mew.

Oh!

And of course all those times I was so close to being caught with my 13 and 14 year old friends! Wow, man.

Ok so i was providing oral services (lol) and my mom knocked on the door and he pulled his pants up QUICK and I was all scared and turned away to hide my erection and we pretended to look for our phones, lol. It was ghetto. But she didn't know! haaaaaa. boys are cute. lol

I've never been directly caught doing anything, but I've come pretty close a couple times. Once, when I was 12, I did all sorts of things with another boy, who was 10. We were in the bathroom for a while, basically playing with each other, and frotting, which we both loved. Eventually, we come out, and we're standing in the hallway, (re-clothed at this point) and suddenly I want to do it so more. So I grab onto him, and start humping into him, and he does the same, and I can feel his little boner through his shorts, I'm hard too, and it's so good, and then suddenly my dad walks up from around the corner. Oh crap!

I stop immediately and make like I'm giving him a perfectly chaste hug, and say the first thing that comes to my mind, which is "He has to go home now." to which my dad seems to accept and moves on.

When I was a couple years younger, I used to suck dick a lot with another of my friends. We had a contingency plan (kids are much smarter than parents think!) where one of us would take a lego under the bed covers, and if a parent walked into the room while the other was getting sucked on, he'd pop back up and pretend he'd just been down there to find the errant lego. It was a plan that never had to be used, because we were never caught.

Both my parents gave me a lot of privacy when I was growing up, so I never got caught jerking off. Then again, I never seemed to need it that often, so it wasn't like I was sneaking around all day so I could shoot off five times a day like some guys I know did (and some still do).

Technically, when I was 17, I got caught in a lie about spending the night at a friend's house. But my dad didn't know it was because we planned to have sex, he just thought I was sneaking off to do teenage mischief. He told me to be home before midnight, which I did return eventually, but not before three hours of fantastic fucking. I was disappointed at missing out on actually sleeping together, but it was stil nice.

>But she didn't know!

Now are you entirely sure about that, or did she just pretend not to know? >:3

The only thing my mother has caught me out on is all the porn I used to draw >_>

I myself have never been caught, but I did walk in on my sister with my then just recently ex- girlfriend

Keep it going, these are hilarious

I. In the Dorm

Section 1 - No Roommate

Step 1: Always have a backup site on call in the event your roommate comes barging in to tell you about his last-place fantasy baseball team and how pissed he is nobody will trade with him.

Step 2: Know the schedule. In fact, this should be step 1, but I’m way too lazy to cut and paste. Know when they’re gone and if they have a propensity for skipping class. Timing is everything.

Section 2 - With a Roommate

"If you wank to your mom’s Victoria's Secret, and then she goes on to read it, according to existentialists, you’ve bagged your mom."

Step 1: Wait until your roommate falls asleep. I don’t care how ballsy you think you are, dropping yourself like you’re hot with a roommate awake in the immediate area is somewhere on the Bad Ideas scale alongside “Going hunting with Dick
Cheney.”

Step 2: Position your computer so the monitor doesn’t face your sleeping roommate. Claim you want more of an office setup. Buy a three-hole punch to complete the effect.

Step 3: Put a blanket over you to disguise your movement. Claim you’re cold. This doesn’t work as well in the summer or if you’re not a giant blubbering pussbag.

II. In the Workplace

Step 1: Find a private bathroom, preferably not your boss’s. I can’t stress this enough. They don’t take it well.

Step 2: Try to find a bathroom where the stalls are taller than you. This way you can stand. Maybe I’m weird, but I hate sitting down when I whack off. And yet I sit down to take a piss. Isaac Newton would be outright fascinated by me.

Step 3: If another employee enters the facility, keep perfectly still, but stay focused. It may become necessary to abort. The problem is, for whatever reason, people at my work take the loudest, nastiest shits I’ve ever heard. It sounds like someone trying to drown a walrus in a bowl of chili. And the smell, my God, the smell. Like Jerome Bettis’ taint must smell. I have a really hard time staying focused in the midst of that.

III. In Church

Umm. I don’t think Jesus would approve. Let’s just move on.

IV. During Class

This is a tricky time because you always have that nagging feeling that if you go to the bathroom for an extended period of time, the professor is sitting around telling the students: “So what do you think he’s doing in there? You think there’s blood?”

Step 1: Preparation. Class is a perfect time to set up camp, especially on those final days of February when it’s deceptively warm and all the girls go flying into mini-skirts (I call these days Titty Gras). So yes, pick out a couple of ladies, and set up shop.

Step 2: Treat your fantasies like you’re watching Olympic curling on TiVo. You don’t watch all the pre-game or Canadian Bob explaining how two doubloons equal a gunny sack and that’s why Poland’s never lost on the international level. (Actually, I love curling. But that’s another column.)

When you get to the bathroom, go right to the climax. The moose giving out a good yell. The downstairs neighbor with the club foot trembling as you feed the fish. The girl moaning as you ram it into the UPS box. (Yeah, UPS box is my slang term for butt. Because, you know, what can brown do for you? Hey, you asked.) In my fantasies, it’s the girl chuckling over my latest slew of ethnic stereotypes and potty humor. Let me tell you, Casual Misanthropy is one mother of an aphrodisiac.

Step 3: Return to class, and here’s the key: have your cell phone in hand. Now, anyone interested in how you needed fourteen minutes to take a piss can think you were on the phone with your dear baby sister in the lupus clinic. (Off topic, anyone hear about J. Dilla dying of lupus? Question, what the hell is a J. Dilla? Are they making up rappers now? Can I finally start referring to myself as Rebel One without getting the old “dumbass white boy” look?)

V. At Home

Here’s what’s remarkable: When I was in high school, I could rub one out in every room of my house like a thief in the night. Now that I’ve been in college for awhile, I don’t know what it is. Pots and pans are banging. My dog’s barking. The stairs are creaking. I’m making more noise than an all-black The View.

Step 1: Don’t jack in your parents/siblings room. That’s just not right.

Step 2: Don’t be afraid to raid your mom’s Victoria’s Secret collection. Just do us all a favor and throw it out when you’re done. Honestly, if you wank to your mom’s catalog, and then she goes on to read it, according to existentialists, you’ve bagged your mom. Do you really want that on your conscience? And what if she bought something from said catalogue? Oh my goodness, let’s just move on.

Step 3: Always do it in the bathroom. Easier said than done, I’m hearing from those unfortunate saps with sisters. Trust me. It’s worth it. My mom will go into any room she wants without knocking. I could have a Do Not Disturb sign and monkey’s blood on my door and she’d kick it in like a SWAT leader. But for whatever reason, she grants me amnesty in the bathroom. Maybe it’s because she lives with three males and we’ve decorated the basin of the toilet with more atrocities than an Iraqi insurgent’s bachelor party.

We’re getting to the point where you’re never going to read me again, aren’t we?

I'm not sure if my brother saw me, but i think he may have many years ago. i had my door ajar and i did it under the covers. he looked over a bit, who knows. that the closest call i had :D

>>9522

Or, if you're too lazy for all that, just learn to jerk off less. That's what I do, and I never end up at school/work/where-ever where I just HAVE to have a wank or I'll die.

Oh yes. This.

Brother opened the door just as I had a face full of sausage and my bf was doing the, 'oh god I'm coming' twitches.

Of course, I didn't stop, what did you expect me to do?

Not the first time he's walked in on us, either; you think he'd just avoid the room by now.

>>9540

He's clearly doing it on purpose. Maybe he wants a little brothercest threesome? ^^

>>9492 wat

>>9493 This is the one I actually wanted to wat to.


"When I was a couple years younger, I used to suck dick a lot with another of my friends. We had a contingency plan (kids are much smarter than parents think!) where one of us would take a lego under the bed covers, and if a parent walked into the room while the other was getting sucked on, he'd pop back up and pretend he'd just been down there to find the errant lego. It was a plan that never had to be used, because we were never caught."

That is so far fetched, and the egopetting pretty much helped it be unbelievable. Silly furries and their fantasies. Oh by the way, this story makes you look awfully pedophilish.

>>9594

When I was around twelve my friend and I used to watch VHS porn (VHS- so outdated)X3 and we would stop to watch each other cum. We never got walked in on and were still good friends. Although I think both of us grew out of that phase in our lives. Although I'm still trying to figure out if I'm gay. Its funny I love gay furry but I rarely think "he's hot" when I see a good looking guy.

>>9594

I'm sorry you didn't have any gay experiences growing up. It was really fun, and it's a shame you were left out. Better luck next life.

>>9595

Within reason, if in doubt, try. Looking back, I could have wasted a lot longer thinking I was gay when all I needed was my body to remind me otherwise.

>>9606

pretty good insight and advice

>>9673
Bump for more stories. Pretty funny so far

I suppose this does somehow count:

When I was about 17 I had this as my desktop background while my parents were away for a week. What I didn't anticipate was a surprise visit by a friend of mine, while I was playing Command & Conquer. I knew I couldn't quit and change the background picture in time, but luckily he kept watching me play. In the end his cellphone and the fact that I have very bad reception in my room saved me. It still was a very close call though, as my computer sucked back then.

Then there was this time when my computer didn't work and I printed a furry porn story to take it back to my room, which worked quite well. Problem is I never found it again. My parents' English isn't that good, but then why would it be gone? Still, there were no awkward moments or something after it was gone, so I'm probably good. :3

Ok i'll tell you how the very first fap went, and then all the extremely close calls i had doing it afterwards.

The first time i was i think 12-13, and we had a dog that would sleep on my bed and she'd do this everyday for since we got her (your probably thinking i fucked her but i didn't). Well one day, for some strange reason I realized i liked the way she felt, she was warmer and fuzzier then I previously realized, and of course this started to rile me up. So there I was in the middle of the night whacking it sorta sloppily, and putting my dick against her stomach for warmth, which lasted for around 2 hours. When all of a sudden BOOM, weird sticky shit erupted out of my shaft leaving my legs, hand, and my dogs stomach absolutely covered with my load, and myself left paralyzed, with fear as to wtf happened and pleasure as to how good that shit felt. so I got up and made the trip all the way to the bathroom with dog in tow, took a piss and tried cleaning myself. I looked at my dogs direction and was fucking horrified to see her liking herself clean. she was doing it quietly so I said fuck it, went grabbed a dirty shirt from the floor I knew was gonna be washed, dried myself off, and made my way back to bed. moment later she jumped on and fell asleep. it took me an hour to fall asleep, because i kept wondering WTF it was that she did to me that made the sticky shit come out.

In my situation everyone more than likely knows that I whack it, but they still haven't caught me, dick in hand, doing it.

>>9710
same guy here ok first tale, of the close encounters.

I was around 15-16. There this one time I was jerking it in the wee hours of the morning, I had morning wood and a was like fuck it. about a half hour into the adventure, my dad barges through the room and starts trying to yank the covers off me so I can get up to have breakfast and get dressed to go out. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, is whats going on in my mind right now. I rush to jam it back in my shorts, and this was during the time where you feel your load just being loading inside your shaft and another 3-5 mins it's gonna fire. Now i start racing thoughts of fear, and death, and anything that will get my boner down as i fight my dad for control of the covers. One final yank and it's off, and I manage to land on my stomach to cover the tiny wet spot the began to pool on my shorts from my failed ejection, and i tell him i'll be up in a sec. content he leaves to get himself ready to go out.

Another tale is when the Wii first came out and I discovered that you can use the internet, and it doesn't keep track of history. luckily noone ever used the internet function on it. I was 16-17. Late one night I'm on it playing some SSBB until everyone falls asleep. I keep playing for a bit to make it seem like i'm not gonna switch it anytime soon. Once I have a good idea that everyone is out. I reset and head to the internet. never before have I had so much access to porn before. Fapping all throughout the night, load, after load, after load. I started at 12:30, and it's now 3:45. About to rub yet another one out, when I hear CREAK in the room on the other side of the wall the TV is on. SHIT, I've reached the point where there was no going back, and I could hear the footsteps getting closer and closer to the door. Fuck it, and I go into Fapping over-drive. Going 1 million miles an hour to rub this fucker out, at the same time struggling to switch back to the game because of the constant shakes of my body. I hid behind the living room table when I finally spewed this thing over the carpet, just as my dad walks out of the room and heads into the kitchen, which is in the opposite direction. I'm praying the carpet will soak this shit up like water, while I get into the character select screen. I see him turn towards me and I try to make myself look tired from staying up so late, and he tells me I should get some sleep. I take this opportunity to agree, turn everything off, give it another minute to soak, and slowly make my way to my room, and hope noone sits in that spot till I have a chance to clean it up.

Never been caught yet but the closest ever was where I was sitting in front of the computer happily fapping away. I was nearly done, when my mom starts coming up the stairs. We're not in much of a big house so it was literally seconds before she was at my door. The first step I heard I rushed to close everything and get it back in my pants, but I had reached the point of no return.
Anyway my mom walks into the room like in the comic with clean clothes. My drawers are right next to my computer so she's there at the drawers chatting away to me while in my pants I'm cumming everywhere.

Was fucking awkward but I had a hoodie that was a bit big for me on so that covered enough of my lap to hide the big wet patch that would otherwise have been there. As far as I know she didn't notice. As you can imagine I tried to hide it pretty well.

So not what you want. :|

Also in a way I'm a bit like >>9595 in that I love gay furry porn, but gay porn doesn't turn me on in any way, and I don't think any guys are hot. At most I'm bi as I have had "dirty" thoughts of guy friends of mine, but have always liked girls so.. meh xD

I just remembered the image I was looking at when I first came.

I'm almost embarrassed to share this, but not too embarrassed that I wouldn't post it, hahaha.

>>9714
>So not what you want. :|

I liked the story. :3

Never been caught! I'm a girl, it's a lot easier to hide. :D

So I'll share the story of my first fapping.
I was maybe 13 and I was home alone, and I found this thing in my stepmom's room that was like one of those u-shaped neck rests they sell at airports right, only it was filled with really hard, thick foam, and if you pressed a button it vibrated really hard. So I was toying with this, I had found the part where the battery was kept that vibrated the hardest and I was pressing it idly against various areas of my body just to see what it felt like, and then I stuck it on my crotch. The pleasure shocked me into near paralysis, and I fell back on the couch, pressing it into my pj's for about ten seconds before experiencing the most terrifyingly strong orgasm imaginable. When it finished (and it took a good minute and a half or so), I sat up, gazing at the thing in horrified wonder. I did that three more times that day, and the vibrating neck rest ended up staying in my room - my excuse was that I had simply grown attached to it and liked sleeping with it. I didn't figure out until later that I could look at stuff or think about stuff while I did it. Heheheh... I've progressed to using a vibrating toothbrush now. :3

>>9733
No such thing as "Females" On the interwebs

>>9734
Stop being a stupid neckbeard.

>>9733
Tits or GTFO.

I've never been caught, but the closest thing that has happened was like when i was 13 or so. I was jerking off as usual, with door shut, and backup tab and everything. I suddently hear some footsteps outside the house (my room is very close to the front door) and so i immediately close the tab, and in some strange way i managed to hide my dick in my pants, it was really fast. Anyhow, my mom entered my room and i was just entering the climax, so yeah.. I came inside my pants. Felt kinda strange.
But then it ended happily.

Another one i remember is that one time, long time ago, after i've been doing it my sister comes in my room and complains that "it smells like fish".

Also, thanks for the comic dude, i like the way they are drawed, maybe i can learn a thing or two bout it.

Keep the thread going!

>>9733

Great story and try to be safe with that toothbrush :3

Lets keep the thread going!

Bump please :3

>>9493
>kids are much smarter than parents think!

no they are not, they just think they are. Most of the time the parent will know what you are doing and as long as you're not doing anything bad bad will just let it slide.

Go talk to a parent about something you think you got away with when you were younger and more then likely they will already know about. it.

>>9822

Or, years later, you find out that your parents are violently homophobic, and that they would have beaten you black and blue for sucking another boy's dick, back when you were young enough to still be owned by them.

I've never been caught in the act, but I've been "discovered" quite a few times.

One time, my dad was on the phone in the kitchen, and I had to walk through the kitchen to get to my room. Being young and without a computer at this point (14 or so), I just used the JC Penny lingere catalogue. I put it in the back of my wasitband, and walked quickly towards my room (My mistake, caught my dad's attention).

I made a bee-line to my bathroom and locked the door, but my dad kept knocking and told me to let him in. I did, and he asked what I snuck into the room. I had stuffed it under the dirty laundry in a basket, and said it was nothing. He then told me he'd just search until he found it, so I pulled it out. He took one look at it and started laughing, and I just about died from embarrassment. He left it with me and went on his way, but I never touched the damn thing again.

At that same age, I had a habit of printing out furry porn, sine my computer was "shared" and moved around from the kitchen to the foyer, etc. I usually tore them up after a couple of days, for fear of being caught, but one time I printed out around ten or so (Bernal, Adam Wan, Ssirus, mix of gay, straight, and female pinups), and hid them in an old shoebox which I kept up on the top shelf of my closet. Around this time, I moved the computer back into my room, citing that I needed it there to do schoolwork now that I was in High School. Months passed, and I no longer needed my little shoebox, which sat untouched for quite a while.

My dad, brothers, sister, and myself ended up going on a trip for Christmas, leaving our mom at home for a while before she'd come and join us. She has this lovely habit of cleaning out my room without my permission, and in the process found this shoebox. Now, my dad had already snooped around my computer at one point and found logs of things when I first started getting into this furry stuff, so he kinda knew about it, but when mom called him about what she had found... Well, he didn't let up about it for a long time.

I got some more stories, but they'll have to wait for later. Don't feel like typing anymore.

>>9849

God, some parents can be such fucking snoops. I'm glad mine weren't in the habit of sneaking around looking through my shit, or I never would have gotten away with a damn thing.

BUMP FOR MORE STORIES

>>9916
facepalm.jpg

>>9917
Actually:
>dis9916_HB_GN_0001_0.jpg

>>9931

Actually:

>>9932

should I start an HB thread in Dis/

When I was younger, I think around 11 or so, I had just found out about playing with myself. I used to use soap and stuff for lubrication. That is never a good idea by the way. So, I was in the shower with a hand full of shampoo and boy bits, and it started stinging, so I did the only thing I could do, and that was cry. My mom refused to go in there so she sent my dad in. He laughed for about 30 minutes while I was standing in the shower with a stinging naughty bits and tears streaming out of my eyes. I think that was the worst situation, because I had no choice but to be caught.

Another time, I was discovering my sexuality, and was over at a friends house. We were in his room, fooling around with each other. I had just let him stick it in when his mom walks in all nonchalantly and looks at us, she blinks twice and continues his clothes in his room like nothing is happening while we are scrambling to cover ourselves up. Shortly after the incident, I decide to leave. It was fairly late at night and I thought I was safe to leave. Just as I was about to open the front door, his mother approaches me and proceeds to give me this long winded speech about how it is okay to be interested in boys and how I shouldn't be embarrassed. I turn beet red and get out as fast as I can.

>>9938
no.

I've never been caught, but I've come close a few times, most of the time its only the dog running to see whoever is coming that tips me off

When I was in boot camp. I was umm.. "cleaning the pipes" in the latrine. It was late night so I thought it was safe. Well lets just say someone did walk in, and I earned the nick name "The mad masterbater"

Yes... but only by my sister.
She has a habit of just barging in on me when the door is closed. Which is ridiculous because she's over 25 years old, old enough to know you shouldn't open a closed bedroom door without knocking.

>my face when i used to always fap with the door open and i never got caught

>>9944
You should of stared her in the eyes and proceeded.

Heres a story all about how my life got flip turned up side down. Won'cha take a minute and sit right there as a tell you all about how i became the MASTERbater.

It was in the very state that i was born and raised, playin on the playground where I spent most of my days. Later I went on to a very nice school, chillin out, clickin up, lookin all cool. And later in life, parents got a new mood, started makin trouble in my household neighbourhood. I got in one little fap and my mom flew in and said "You got that from your father, but you look way too thin." It was later that year, when I was about 14 of late, when my parents caught me when I autofellate. They looked at each other and shut the door quickly.
And I look at the door and finish.

meh, lemme cut the charade of the song.
14, just about turned fifteen. My parents caught me autofellating. My father had horror on his face and my mother looked intrigued. My sister stayed in her bedroom for a while for some reason though. But god things were awkward afterwards. Surprisingly, my parents still think I'm a 100% straight...i'm half homosex.

When I was living with my parents I made use of this wonderful thing called a lock... :P

However, in a somewhat terrifying reversal I did find porn on my mother's computer.. anal porn.

I didn't HAVE a lock. On either door. Yes, TWO ways into my room, and it got used as a pass-through sometimes. My house was very old (like, 1904 old) and you could walk a loop: living room, kitchen, den, my room, living room again. Bathroom, laundry, etc. were off the kitchen, other bedrooms upstairs. And no way to lock the doors. I just did my pleasuring at night, after everyone else was asleep.

When I later put in a computer, my desk was against the wall, and parents would walk in and just barely miss me doing it. And they'd know, seeing me hurriedly packing things up... Eventually I turned the desk so the (high) back faced the door, so it provided a fence.

bump for more stories this is a great thread X3

I haven't been caught but a person in a forum had been caught:

Title:

"How my porn collection was shown off at a family reunion."

Message:

"Okay, so heres how the story goes,

A few days ago, my dad linked all of the computers in the house to a common media center without telling me. Using this, he could create a slideshow using pictures on all of the computers while playing music on our TV in the living room. So, he had the bright idea to use this at our family reunion (Which go figure, was at our house) without testing it first, and well, all hell broke loose.

So I was in my room playing Dragon Quest IX when all of a sudden, the chatter downstairs just stopped. So, when I went to go check it out, the jpegs of porn that were on my computer were showing on the TV, and instead of turning tit off, they were staring in complete disgust and awe. *Oh and all the kids in the reunion were downstairs, so they didnt see anything.

It wouldnt be bad enough if it was regular porn, but there was a lot of hentai too. Bestiality, furries, yaoi (I was curious, okay?), you name it, it was there.

So anyway, when I finally got downstairs, everyone was staring at me like im some freak of nature. Of course, I ran to the TV and turned it off, someone nobody had the willpower to do(?). Heres how the convo went after that:

"DAD, Why'd you put that on the slideshow????"
"I didn't know it connected to your computer. Sorry, son. Still, you should be a bit more secure with your porn."
"I guess, yeah."

So then i look at everyone in the room, still staring at me.
"What??? You guys never seen porn before?"

My uncle said, "Not that kind, ya weirdo."

After that, most of the people left, giving me bad glares on the way out. After seeing the yaoi, dad gave me the gay talk too (Even though im straight) and I can't really go to my family for anything now.


Oh, and, after I posted it here 3 weeks ago, pops finally saw this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8qKwld1euY Embarrassing, isn't it. Of course, he cracked up the whole time since his son was dancing around like a tard.

So anyway, to the poll, where you guys come in: Whose fault do you think it is that my porn showed up on the TV?"

@10210
well... I'm gonna have to say the kids fault, theres a reason why people can hide files.

>>10210

I blame both of you. :P
Your dad - for setting up a system without testing it or getting permission to link to your computer.
You - for not hiding it well enough, or using a good enough firewall.

>>10210
old copypasta is old

Geez I wouldn't know where to begin, but I'm glad to know others have been where I have. I have moderate Social Anxiety Disorder because of always getting caught (and I always thought I was being clever about it at the time).

I'm too tired to go into details (against the point of the thread, I know. I'm sorry.) but some instances include sneaking a JCP catalog into the bathroom, with my dad knocking on the door asking if he could look at that when I get done with it. Another instance was locking the screen door to the living room while my aunt uncle and parents were outside talking, just so I could try to watch some late night skin-emax. My uncle came up to the door (which I was watching for) and I couldn't get the damn remote to change the channel. He broke the handle off the door not realizing it was locked, and I finally got the damn channel to change just as I opened the door to unlock it for him.
My parents have found my porn, every kind just about that you could think of (beastiality, gay/straight/bi, CrossDress, Furry, etc) and tried talking to me all the while crying, etc etc. Embarrassing as fuck. My mom has on more than one occasion found my used socks and tissues (I never leave them around anymore, even when I think they're hidden well). And she's found an empty bottle of vodka and condom wrappers in my trash before (I used to sneak some alcohol home to drink and would fap into condoms).

This was all some years ago but it's still very embarrassing and why I can't ever be "close" with my parents, or let them into any part of my private/social life. They were/are uber nosey and religious btw.

>>10620
>tried talking to me all the while crying, etc etc. Embarrassing as fuck.
Embarrassing? How about a recipe for divorce/suicide/etc? I guess your parents are in the wrong, but fuck dude, do a better job of making them think you're normal.

>>10620
>uber religious
Explains the nosiness, don't want their son going to the evil fiery land of make believe.

>>10629
>uber religious
>don't want their son going to the fiery land of make believe.
Parents can be such hypocrites. They don't want one made-up world, yet preach about the biggest made-up world ever.

Never been formally caught, but I've had quite a few close calls. My computer was in my dad's room growing up.... and we didn't have a printer.(Author's Note: The living room had a door that went straight into his room) So here I am just fapping away to some Hentai, and BAM, he walks in to go to the bath room. I sink back into the fucking chair, close out of my fucking tabs, all the while my one eyed snake is just spraying jizz everywhere. I still, to this day, can't fucking believe I didn't get caught on that day. After that, I got my PSP.... so I used my wireless and the bathroom, which had a fucking lock on it.

Another time, my fucking Netscape(yes, fucking netscape) tabs were saved after I had closed out of some... stories, if you will. My brother opened back up the tabs, called my mom and then I had to try lying to her about how "it's not porn, mom!". Then I got the, "If you're going to do that, be more careful about it." Both of these events happened when I was around 13 or 14.

Other than that, the only misfortunes I've had is losing THREE FUCKING FLASH DRIVES. One had around 400mb of porn, the second about 300, and the THIRD, my fucking 8gb atache, had a whopping 800gb of porn on it.(Straight Hentai, Beast Hentai, Straight Furry, Gay Furry, Bi Furry) The one with about 400 was lost in the house of my uber Christian relatives in Colorado, and the other, my atache, had my school work on it(with my fucking name on papers) and I lost it... at the school.

I guess I got lucky... never been caught doin' the dirty. Which is surprising, since I've done it in literally every house I've spent more than a month or so in.(don't fucking judge me.... I usually use the bath room)

>>10632
Just to set the record straight... I'm not gay/bi, well at least I don't think I am. I just find gay furry hot for some reason.

inb4closet

>>10633

also inb4closet, because you know someone will accuse you of it.

>>10627
no no no, I wasn't the one crying, they were. My fault for not explaining that better.

They were hysterical and bawling their eyes out.

>>9595 i have the same problem with the gay thing.

hope this counts
when i was 14 i printed a furry picture with a guy and a girl having sex and my older brother found the picture and in the picture you could not see much of the girl but mostly the guy so i told him that i could not find one with just the girl and he trusted me

>>10070

When I was in my early teens, I shared a computer with my dad. Over a period of time, I found bestiality clips in the recent documents list... kinda freaky knowing my dad is (was?) into the stuff.

>>10879
lol! I really hope this story is true; that would just make my day. Like father like son!

I have never been caught. Ss i have always had my oun computer. And almost of the rooms i had.
Had locking doors or i use to put stuff be hind the door to hold it shut.
Tho i never been caught. And have never told any one in my family that i am a furr. I am sure they know. As everything i have that can have a wallpaper on it (PS3 Cellphone computer Ect) has a furry wallpaper on it. and if you put 2 an 2 together. Well yah.

My English is kinda crappy... now I've informed you.

I have been caught couple of times. When it happened first time, I was 13 years old. I used to draw anthropomorphic animals back then (like in Disney cartoons). With a huge crush on Maid Marian (Disney's Robin Hood), I made couple of sketches about her being naked. Well, my mom was cleaning my room and she found my sketchbook, containing my 'masterpieces of art'. Later on that day we had a long conversation about 'normal sex' and what I think about it. I was so embarrassed after that moment, so I burned all my sketches and drawings. What a pity...


So, few years later, I got caught doing 'the thing'. And it happened just like in the op's picture. I'm on my computer, which I got as a present at my 15th birthday, fapping to different kinds of pics I've found over the internet (furry, hentai, etc.). Then my mother comes in without knocking, stops, looks me at one awkward moment, turns around and slams the door shut and yells "sorry!". I think, that she have been a ninja in her past live, she moves as quietly as shadow. After that she started to knock before coming in to my room.

In my old house the family shared 2 computers. one of them i used a lot and the other one the rest of my family used. One day after school i was watching porn and my dad comes into the room. i had already exited out of the site, but those sutpid fucking pop-ups came up. he looked away right as i minimized it. on another note i checked my TV's purchase history, and found shitloads of rented porn programs.

Never was caught by my parents growing up. I had my own laptop from the time I was like... 16 though.

I was caught by my college roommate once. Classic "class is canceled!" walk in 10 minutes after leaving thing. All the memorizing schedules in the world can't prepare you for that!

Now, onto the good story:

I believe I was seen by the damn mailman once. Me and my BF were renting the first floor of a house. When we moved in, it was in pretty bad condition, so we remodeled much of it. Our computers were on desks right below windows facing the front yard. Since it was a sunken first floor, someone in the front yard could look down into our room if there were no blinds up. It so happened to be the day we were painting the wall with windows looking out into our front yard, and our blinds were removed. Now, our mailman had this annoying habit of walking directly through all the flowerbeds, completely ignoring the sidewalks and driveways. Just so happens I'm fapping one day around 1PM, and look up to see him glancing down at me, walking away hurriedly.

I remember freezing for about 30 seconds, then busting into laughter. Don't think he's going to try to peek into that window anytime soon.

Bump Please :3

So here I was reading this thread and thinking I was smooth for not having any stories to tell about getting caught. Then wham! Like a pile of bricks this one incident from the past hits me. So now it's story time!

I was around 12 or 13 and had graduated from "late night movie channel softcore aficionado" to "internet pron finder". During the summer I would get bored during the afternoon and since there was nothing better to do I'd just have some fun by myself. Now I've never been one to just open my fly or drop my trousers or something and fap. If I'm going to do that I figure I might as well have some fun and just take it all off. Now back then in the house we only had the one computer located in the living room (first mistake) with a bunch of tall windows lining the entry way to the house (seriously bad location even with the blinds down). The only other person who lived there at the time was my mother, and she would always call way ahead of time when she was coming home, and I kind of knew her schedule anyway (complacency, my second mistake).

So one day I'm at it and I see someone's shadow going by the blinds and I think to myself "Oh god oh god oh god this is going to be so embarrassing must put clothes on!" I exit out of whatever I was looking at and get my underwear on (and MAYBE a shirt, my memory is a little fuzzy), but by this point the door is unlocking and I know I've got no chance of putting anything else on. Suddenly my step dad comes in to pick up a few things (he and my mother were in the process of splitting up at the time and was no longer living at our place) and see me there sitting at the computer with a few articles of clothing missing. He wasn't expecting to see me at all much less catch me in the middle of things so it was doubly awkward. We both just played it like nothing was going on and he just said hello and asked how things were, picked up his things and left.

Besides that there was only one other situation, which was very similar to that only with my actual father. He lacked a key to the place though so I had time to get clothed before letting him in so it was all okay.

Since then I've been pretty careful. Of course since then I've also had a computer in my room or a laptop and no one who would just walk into my room so it was almost too easy. :D
(Hi Zensou!)

My brother caught me twice, both times after I had just come. The first time I was just jerking off with my boxers still covering me, and he walked in and was like 'What are you doing?' He was nine, so I told him I had been watching a flash of something on Newgrounds and pissed myself from laughing.

Second time he was 12, and I was sitting on my bed. He looked at me and instantly asked if I had just masturbated, and I just looked him dead in the eye and said yeah.

Awkward, but what ever.

Mom found some of my drawings once. The first time it was this huge-titted anime thing that my friend asked me to draw for him, so I just got a laugh. The second time was this full on gay masterpiece and she felt compelled to talk to me about it. I was unbelievably angry at her for going through my stuff and even though she was really supportive I still harbor some spite for making me come out of the closet when I was fucking 14 and living in a house full of violent homo hating Mexicans.

Stupid mom. >:[

My best friend caught me once, jacking it on the water jet in his pool while his parents were gone for the weekend. We'd been skinny dipping (at his insistence) and he left to use the restroom for a minute. I had sort of an on again off again crush on him, and he had an amazing set of balls on him, so I was ready to go at any point. Needless to say, he came back and caught me and laughed about it.

Come to think of it, there were a couple of situations where he would insist that we do something naked, or jack off to porn together, but like a shy little faggot in self denial, I either refused to acknowledge his advances as sincere or brushed them off. Wish I could go back and let him fuck me raw. :\

Oh, and I almost got caught fondling my little brother's friends a few times. Precocious little things. (I think I was twelve at the time, making them nine)

One time my mom found my porn collection, as you can guess it was furry porn.

She was crying and shit, but then I told her a virus put it on there.

She believed me. The dumb bitch.

bump for more

i have been watching this thread for a while and i had completely forgotten that i have one..... kinda

You see, at one time my parents bought me a digital camera. when i was around 15-16 i used to have a thing for taking pictures or video of myself pawing off. BUT i would never send them to anyone or anything, i just liked being filmed since it kinda turned me on.

One night while my parents were away i decided to do this, and so i headed for the shower. I placed my camera on a small dry spot in the corner and hit record, then enjoyed myself. After i was finished i headed off to bed since my parents would be home soon. The next morning literally as i arrived at school, i remembered that I NEVER REMOVED THE CAMERA. I was in a state of panic all day, both my parents would have taken a shower in there, the camera was just sitting there in the corner!

After i got home i walked slowly into the house, both my parents were at work so i didn't have to confront them. I looked in the bathroom and sure enough the camera was gone. I found it later in the living room sitting on the couch. I picked up the camera and looked in the gallery, the videos were gone.

Then i remembered. on that particular night i decided to delete the video right after i was done! THANK GOD! I usually took it to my room, took a quick look at it, and deleted it. I still don't know what they thought when they found my camera in the shower, but they never mentioned it again.....

>I still don't know what they thought when they found my camera in the shower

They knew.

>>11125

lol

I was on a site once and i had multiple tabs open. I memorized the keystroke to exit for singles. I hear footsteps and rushed to close it and it closed! Unfortunately it opened up on a hentai flash game>:{ My mom walks in and catches me( thanks a lot mom!) she tells my dad who is good w/ computers and he blocks the site. i get grounded from anything w/ a screen that wasn`t homework. for several monthsXD

Its so nice that we've all been able to share our embarrassing stories, shows that we all make mistakes... some more than others XD

Anyways lets keep them coming, this thread always has me laughing when I need it most

Ive only almost gotten caught one. I was in my bed going at it and got to that point of no return when my mother walks in. So, as I am cumming mind you, i cover with the sheets and proceed to have a conversation with her. Luckly she didn't seem to notice anything and i was in the clear.

moar stories! I have a tendency to feel anxiety and hold my mistakes over my own head for a long time. It's hard for me to let go of a lot of the stupid stuff I've done or gotten caught doing, so this definitely helps to remind me I'm not alone!

It amazes me how many guys are perfectly able to carry on a converstion, with a straight face, while having an orgasm.

Clearly, you must have really lousy orgasms. Mine make me scream. It's nice.

>>11965

OR some people can just compose themselves better. I rarely ever make any noise when i orgasm, even the most intense ones. This makes it very easy to paw off at midnight in a dead silent house with 3 other people sleeping.

I wonder how many people are getting off or at least turned on by this thread XD

Here's a little fun story & a question.

Since everybody knows about the Catboy's "innocence" thing about his dog Snowball but what made him do it? Whell has anybody layed on a dog's side before?

That's what I loved to do lay on fur while I diddle but since Snowball "died in 02" I bought a 30 inch plush snow leopard in 04 & I loved humping, kissing, & making out with it. I have loads of different kinds of animal plushies which I still do hump, kiss, & make out with them. I have been caught by my bro when I layed on Snowball in 2000.

P.S.

All of my animal plushies are females & have a female name, I sleep on a blue fur rug which I love to imagine it's Judith, I'm never embarrassed at anything I say but I'm disappointed at all of you, I miss Snowball but I'm not sad, & BTW Where The Wild Things Are is awesome, NO it's beyond awesome It's BE-awesome.

...wow. Someone was on crack.

ok many funny storrys here , so i am not a bitch that Lol about all without getting involved,

so then here is my storry:

at the age of ten, i was getting to my brothers and mine playroom after i showered, i walked up the stairs in my bathrobe, and set my ass on the couch in the playroom, i dissrobe and lay myself on the couch fondling and pawing myself a bit, after a few minutes i grab the bathrobe and let it slide up and down between my legs (humped the robe ^^) my brotehr runs upstairs when i was full in the act, i heard him (thanks to wodden stairs) i lay the robe next to me and grab some cloths, he comes in seen me and my (at that point) smal (now huge) errection and runs back down . i heard him say to my mother:" he is sitting there naked, and its cold in the room"
so my mom yells the stairs up" Get dressed or do u wannt to catch a flu"

i was caught when i was 14. it was the first time i went to a furry site my mom walked in and all she saw was me franticly pulling up my pants while i closed the windos i had open. i guess she wasnt suere what i was doing because she asked my brother, who is good with computers, to look up what i was doing. i thought i was in the clear but no, he dicides to look it up for her, and tells her exactly what i was looking at. we had the worst talk, she didnt talk to me for a few weeks after that.

I was 13 and for the first time in years my mom used the front door to get into my house, you can see my computer screen from the windows by my door. She walked in and screeched and told me to come talk to her outside when i was finished. I took my time for the next half hr.

I laughed so hard when I read your story X3

EPIC WIN

Bumpedy

I havent been caught but there is one story.

I go to uni really close to my boyfriends. Sometimes, the stars align and during my lunch break we both had time for a little fun.

Now, his house is kinda open concept in the front area. When the door is open on his room on the second floor, you can see right in from the living room. Anyways, I was just about to mount him when we heard a car come in the driveway. It was his grandparents. He forgot they were dropping by to drop off a pie or some cookies on their way out. He throws on some shorts and a t shirt and rushes down to answer the door.

Due to a bit of panicking on my part, I ended up curled up in the corner next to the door naked, my clothes on the other side of the room. Couldn't go get them and get dressed without being seen.

Anyways, next thing I know I hear them come up the stairs. Big bottle of lube and dildo on the bed for everyone to see, me half hard with a condom still on naked in the corner. We didn't get caught but it was really close. Turns out the grandparents also wanted to see some renovations they were doing to the house upstairs.

When I was younger about 13 or 14 our computer was in the main room of the house. One night while I was a half step from finishing with myself i hear a creak on the fllor behind me. I nearly shit myself when I turned around and my mom was right there...SLEEP WALKING! The next morning was awkward because I had to do that thing where you you try to casually pry at any knowledge they may have without exposing yourself. Thank fully she didnt remeber any thing and a week later I convinced her the computer would be safer in the basement xD

i have another story, not really about ME getting caught, but my brother/dad/MOM (i don't know who did it)

When I was around 10 or so our family had a computer in the living room that we all used often. One day I decided to look in the favorites menu for a site i enjoyed, and saw a new bookmark folder (i forget the name). Curious, i decided to click on one of the links in the folder, and what i saw haunted me for a few months after that. TONS AND TONS of Hentai, I'm talking tentacle rape, normal rape, and normal old consensual sex Hentai. I immediately told my mom, and she simply told me to leave the room while she (and my dad XD) deleted all of it.

Now, my brother used that computer a LOT and he was at just about the right age to be interested in that kind of stuff, so somehow I think my mom had a talk with him...

ok so bout two years ago i was on newgrounds playing random xxx games so then a game called fifis fury popped up so i played it constantly then i was so astounded by furry stuff tht i began going to furry websites so then one day i thout everyone was gone i looked at the websites again n my brother looked at the computer n saw so he herd me commin from the kitchen n hid in the closet i continued so 5min later my mum came in n he jumped out da closet n sed DUDE U R FUCKIN LONELY you forget wat REAL pussy feel like so he took the laptop n showed me mum n she sed well its ok if u like drawn animals FUCKIN just try n be careful n if you get carried away a dog will bite it off ya know so from tht point on they thout i liked THAT type of shit

uoh looks like someone got caught masturbating lol